Climbing High

Climbing High

(My first spiritual memory)

By Elizabeth Boubion

For Professor, Afia Walking Tree, M.Ed.

Spring Semester 2013

Course: Indigenous Wisdom

 Holy Names University, Sophia Center

     I was the seventh born child.  My mother's head dropped into her hands, “Please dear God, not another one!” It was 1971 and abortions were introduced in clinics, yet her Catholicism kept her from aborting me.  I was a pro–life child. 

     My father used to take me on walks to feed my brain….”  Make sure you marry a man who is kind and generous, who comes from a good family and who is healthy—it’s very important that they are healthy!”

     Mi papa, Octavio Durán Boubion otherwise known as “Dio” to his queridos was plucked out of the barrio of Boyle Heights in L.A. at age 14 by Father Sedvedo.  “Do you want to become a priest?  Father Sedvedo asked when Dio visited his best friend Ed at the seminary in Dominguez Hills.  “Oh yes!” He said when he saw how beautiful the seminary grounds were, how good the food was, how safe he felt in the company of priests. 

     He spent his formative years there but chose not to take his vows upon graduation because he wanted “wine, women and song”.  That’s what he tells everybody, feigning machismo.  Truthfully, he wanted the wine from church mostly, and a woman (singular) to make a family with, and the songs he listens to are strictly symphonic classical and choral music-  Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, Liszt, Handel…occasionally he plays mariachi music but my grandpa always told him that mariachi music was only played in bars.

     My father is a holy man….always with his heart facing heaven.  His voice is humble, melodic and kind, raised right by my Sonoran-born abuelitos, may they rest in peace.   But typically, like most men, my dad delights in getting away with things…. gloating in bending the rules when he gets the chance.

     For example, I was baptized by him.  He dribbled holy water on my head over the kitchen sink, in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit when I was a baby.  My oldest sister and oldest brother were pronounced to be my “God Parents” at age 8 and 9…and I was pronounced to be a Catholic, not in the Catholic Church, but as a member of my family. 

     7 years later, when it was time for my first communion, my mother had to go talk to the Monsignor about signing the baptism papers.  “Dio baptized the two youngest ones at home”, she explained…. Would you mind signing off for him?”  She was the PR person in situations like these…. Being of the ruling class as a blue eyed, mild –mannered, Canadian-born, nurse that she was, who could say “no” to a woman who held herself like Queen Elizabeth, Mother Theresa and Jeanne Crain all at the same time?

     So, as it was, I was baptized by my wedded, un-chaste, un-ordained father.  I think this was a subversively political and personal act on my father’s part.  By having his cake and eating it too as a priest and family man.  And by performing my baptism at home, he was placing La Familia over La Iglesia, claiming his authority as “Father” over the religious institution of “Father”, and claiming a direct relationship with God with no interceding necessary. 

     This renegade attitude instilled in me in my infancy, back-fired on them to some degree, but I will stay in the realm of the early years…

     It was a quiet afternoon in the suburbs of L.A. and I was about 4 years old.  All of my siblings had gone to school and my father was at work.  My Mom and her best friend Marta, were in the living room drinking tea while I made myself busy finding innocent ways that I could bend the rules and get away with it. 

     I loved to climb.  My climbing stunts began with shoulders and hips, then tables and dressers, small trees, then taller ones… Eventually in my college years, I climbed boulders, sea cliffs, rooftops, walls, scaffolding and bridges, and when I arrived to the top, I would balance on 5 toes and shape shift into a feathered serpent dancing as high as I could.

     I was climbing in the bathtub this time while mom and Marta were sipping their tea.  It was easy.  No problem.  My 2 feet were straddling the sides of the tub, my arms stretched out open and free- when all of a sudden, I heard a man’s gentle yet commanding voice speak to me from the air…. "Get down Elizabeth".  I looked around the empty tile bathroom, caught and curious.  Who was that? I wondered.  So I climbed right down, went to the living room and asked, “Is daddy here?” “no,” My mother replied waiting for my next question. “Who was the man’s voice telling me to 'get down Elizabeth' ?"  They both looked at each other with smiles on their faces and then at me…. “That was God”…. “yes, that was God talking to you” they said, as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

     Hmmm….ok.  In that moment at age 4, I found out that mysticism was normal and God was in the bathroom.  I found out I was being watched when I climb and I‘m not alone. I experienced guidance from beyond.  I’m not sure I believed that the voice from the other side was God, specifically….but I accepted their words.  They believed me and that was all I needed.    I was recently told by a clairvoyant friend of mine that I have 2 Grandfathers who walk with me and protect me.  Ok.  Sure, that feels right, I could use some protection right now--my acceptance of her message from beyond was the same as my 4-year old self being told that God just talked to me. The minute she said it, I got a picture of the Grandfathers in my mind, tall like trees- long straight black and grey hair, dressed in full regalia.  A few years ago, I was told by a channel that I have 2 Goddesses flanking me on either shoulder… Sophia and Nada.  Ok, that makes a lot of sense too, and how beautiful….  Not sure what to do about it, but if feels as normal as breathing… somewhere between faith and doubt, between my right and left shoulder I, Elizabeth Chuparosa am living in the fragile place of center in between 2 energies of consciousness… Sophia did tell me… “any energy that is not your own, return to source in love and light, you can choose to just be with you”.  There will be moments when you can even tell the Goddess herself to leave and return to source.  Being with true Self means that only One energy resides in you, which means that there isn’t any separation between you and God/dess anyway.

     I have an odd feeling remembering that man’s voice telling me to get down in the bathtub…. You know, it’s hard to be told what to do by a man after so much of it, century after century, even if it is God or an angel.  I had a confrontation with this voice at age 40.  I told him, “Actually, I don’t want to get down!  I still want to climb and explore my limits and capabilities.  I want to fly….I want to trespass and get away with it… I want to meet spirituality in the balance point between two, meet you between the in-breath and the out-breath… co-create with the elements of nature,  traverse the boundaries of human construction  and meet in the delicate place of risk and beauty.  Thank you for your guidance and protection gentle voice, but I’m still going to climb.  I will listen to your warning signals and honor them…and I have a bond with gravity that keeps me climbing high.